I'm really feeling kind of crappy today.  Sorry.  Just tired, and tired of being sober but to chicken to get drunk.  I'm kind of scared about the project I might be start soon.  New things scare me often these days.  Heck driving fast scares me these days.  Next month I turn 41 and that scares me.  The fear of crying out loud for my mother when times get tough -- that scares me too.  The only thing that scares me more than these things is not paying my bills on time.  That's all that hold me together sometimes, the bills.

Its not sex drugs or rock n roll.  I like the blues less and less as I grow older too.  I think I have been off facebook long enough now that nobody is going to miss me there.  I have been off that service for 6 months or so now.  Nobody misses me.  It's the success of my long term plan to make myself invisible to everyone but the people I would otherwise miss the most.  It backfired along the way a few times, but I am happier with a small group of friends more than I would be trying to  manage a large group of friends.  Well I say manage them.  Even remembering birthdays can be a chore when you have the number of friends ppl on facebook attain.  Luckily the handy computer keeps track of that for you, whether you like it or not.  Domo arigato mr computer.

Life has been long already to me.  Music is about the only thing I love, everything but the blues.  I used to love everything but country, but now I listen to country in small doeses and I kind of like it.  Tastes change over time, I'm told.

Anyway I am taking a survey that may help me get an idea of who reads this blog.  If ppl will actually submit to my questions I may do more surveys on the blog and publish the results for you.  But first I have to know approx how many ppl are reading to participate.  In all likelihood, I am just doing all this for fun.  And for practise of sustaining a positive frame of mind.

That's it I try to be positive and creative and sometimes funny.  It is not easy.  Give me feedback, suggestions, send money and flowers and some of those werther's original candies.  Take my survey.  It wont kill ya.  I'm gone to bed.